Creepy Guys and Cutting Ties

Sometimes when you’re traveling, you meet some of the most interesting people, some of the most caring, friendly, kind, funny, genuine, like family, etc. people.

And then, sometimes when you’re traveling, you meet some of the most awkward, creepy, hair prickling, uncomfortable people.

I have met both.

This particular encounter was with a young fellow, about my age, living in the same house, but in the adjacent suite. We all felt weird around him. He was awkward, didn’t pay attention to what you were saying, and always had this feeling as though he was saying things to you, but the room was just silent. Like words were lingering in the air and it was expected you respond to them, but nothing was actually being said. It was much stranger, and different than an awkward silence.
I did not like this guy.

He was never mean, or rude, or offensive, but he didn’t make me feel comfortable. He lingered everywhere, and kind of followed me when I tried to leave to go to sleep. I put my suitcase between my bed and the door to made sure it wouldn’t be able to be opened from the outside, just in case he had any ideas. Most likely, this was an over reaction and he wasn’t actually going to do anything. In fact, he didn’t do anything and before I left that house to travel onwards, we sorted it all out and he kept his distance, BUT, I did what I needed to do to feel safe, and I much rather “over react” and be safe, then not do anything at all and run the risk.
After the first 2 or 3 nights of strange comments, and weird, linger-y actions (and a determination for him to show me his tan line from his shorts - I have no desire to look at your two toned leg) I spoke with my host and shared my concerns. She completely understood and even shared some of her own feelings about him too. She agreed that he was awkward to be around, and found herself frustrated with him sometimes, but she didn’t think he was dangerous. Despite that, she understood where I was coming from and wanted to make sure that I felt comfortable and safe. We made a plan to speak with him. The days went on and he was always away at work, and then had disappeared for the weekend, so we thought the problem had passed and that he had gotten the hint and picked up on my uninterested cues.

Nope.

He came back from his “weekend beach BBQ party” and got creepier and closer. He asked if I was going to my room, he stood less than a foot away from me while I did the dishes, he tried to show me his dumb shorts tan line again, he waited outside my bedroom door while I brushed my teeth, to which I walked straight past him, into the room, and closed the door immediately. I waited a few minutes, frantically messaging friends and family because I was too worked up to do anything else. After some time had passed and I listened for multiple footsteps in the hall, I went back into the living room and found my host once again. However, he had also been lingering in the living room and immediately questioned if I was going to stay up longer. When I said I was going to talk to my host, he sat down with us on the couch… I turned to her and gave her a face and mouthed the words “he’s making me *really* uncomfortable.” She got the clue and silently communicated back with me. We pretended to talk about the plan for the next day and I was off to bed. We had made another plan and the following day she spoke to him. He seemed to pick up on it and became aware that I was uncomfortable. Directly after this conversation (we had just returned home and he had not left for work yet) he understood and despite having more things to do around the house before leaving, he got in his vehicle and drove away, so that he would not make me uncomfortable any more.

To my surprise, later that night when he came back home and we had all finished dinner, he apologized to me and owned up to his behavior. It wasn’t something I was expecting. The following days and nights were much better and he no longer questioned me about what I was going to do next and where I was going. We got along better and some of that awkwardness had left. I was fully prepared to be very upfront with him and tell him to back off. I had wished I had on that one particular night after he had returned home from his BBQ, but I was too frustrated and the moment had passed. That being said, it’s always good to be very clear with how you’re feeling, because not everyone picks up on social cues, even if you believe them to be quite obvious. Upfront, blunt, clear communication will get through much better, even if it sounds harsh it might be necessary to get the message across.

Confront these people early on, don’t be mean, just be clear. Keep your wits about you and don’t be scared, just be alert and ready to handle the situation. Or in other words, as I wrote right after this happened: “Be BLUNT! Don’t be scared, get a little vicious.”